A couple of days ago I had what felt like an anxiety attach. It was the first time I think I have ever had one. I felt so out of control over my emotions that is was scary. I felt panniced and it was really hard to breathe and I just wanted to cry! To make it brief, what brought it on was a culmination of stresses in my life. Some positive stress (yes, some stress can be positive) and a lot of negative stress. Trying to catch up with all of my at home tasks from being gone for three weeks, Eden stuff that seemed to be bubbling over with much needed attention, and a lot of little details while still trying to run (and put back together) a home, a business, be a good mom and still have a life.
The thought ran through my mind a couple of times- "You can't handle all of this! How do you think you are going to be a foster parent?? You are not skilled enough, experienced enough, and you certainly don't have it all together!"
It was weird, for the first time in a looong time I felt my heart being convicted that this was something Satan was putting in my head. It was very clear-it had to be him. So, I took those yucky thoughts captive to scripture and this song popped into my head by our amazingly talented friend, John David. I think the title is "Wash Over Me". The words I kept hearing were, "Wash over me, cause I need you now. I need you more than the air I breathe. Wash over me, cause I need you Lord. I need you more than the air I breathe." Then, I felt compelled to share this with my blogging world, something I would not normally do. I thought, I want to share this song...but I'm not that blogger savvy and I don't know how. So, silly me popped John David's DVD into our computer and recorded it on my little point-and-shoot camera. :) Here are just very small snippets of some of my favorite music from his live DVD. You should go buy it if you don't already have it!!! It is called "Live at Lakeview". I wish the picture was better on here and I wish you could see more. Oh well.
So, why am I sharing this? I don't know. I just know that it feels good to fall into the perfect arms of Jesus when I feel all stressed out and crazy.
PS- the one of the song I taped was too long to record so you will have to ask me for the DVD so you can see it, or buy the DVD or *YouTube* John David Webster.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6DxZ4A9vyw
2 comments:
I will be praying that God will ease some of your negative stress!! And that Satan will stop lying to you about not being a good parent you are fantastic and you will be a wonderful blessing to all the children that you are a foster parent too!!!
amen christina.
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